Dealing with Bereavement
1. Don't put limits on yourself:
Every relationship is different and grieving its loss will take its own time.
2. Accept your own feelings:
Whatever they are, they are your feelings and they are valid. Talk them through in prayer.
3. Allow yourself to 'finish' conversations:
Imagine holding a conversation with the person you have lost, accepting the response you know they would make.
4. Be Angry:
Give yourself permission to be angry / resentful – speak to yourself or write it out if necessary, but don’t act on it immediately.
5. You are allowed to cry:
Have a safe place where you can cry when you need to.
6. Talk to others:
Talk to other members of the family. Remember they are grieving too. Cry together if and when necessary.
7. Painful memories:
Accept the pain of memories which might be triggered by music, TV programmes or other external reminders. The pain will gradually subside with exposure and other memories will eventually bring comfort.
8. 'First times' hurt:
Expect ‘first times’ to hurt – subsequent times will become easier as new memories are established without your loved one.
9. Don't make sudden decisions:
Allow change to creep into your routine gently – resist the urge to alter everything, you may regret it later
10. Moving on:
Gradually pick up the threads of your life at your own pace – do not allow others to rush you